Nite-Owl: I can't believe he's dead. I remember Adrian once telling me that the Egyptians regarded death as a voyage ...

Rorschach: Hurn. Nice idea if you can afford to go first class, with pharaohs ... but judging by our departures, most of us travel steerage.

Alan Moore, Watchmen, Issue #10
D.C. Comics, July 1987

The Couch Potato:
Palm Beach Post, Aug 17, 2004
  480-pound woman blurs the fine line between human and divan.  
An Uplifting Experience:
Houston Chronicle, Aug 18, 2003
  Hospital elevator departs with surgeon's head.  
A Hair-Raising Ordeal:
Daily Herald (Everett, WA), Aug 17, 2003
  Careless carny is taken for a ride.  
Beggar Man's Thief:
Philadelphia Daily News, Mar 1, 2003
  Homeless man is found dead — most of him, that is ...  
The Promised Land:
Reuters, Jul 11, 2000
  A flood of Biblical proportions brings down death and destruction upon a shantytown.  
Associated Press, Mar 21, 2002
  In the NHL's first fan fatality, teen is struck by errant hockey puck.  
The Electric Fare:
Associated Press, Aug 11, 1999
  A faulty bus shelter takes an unlucky fare on the ride of his life.  
Beggars Banquet
Louis Figuier, The Insect World, 1868
  On a "beautiful assassin" and its hapless human breeding grounds.  

Blind Man's Blunder:
New York Daily News, Apr 4, 2003
  Every sightless person's nightmare.  
Hot Lava:
Reuters, Dec 1, 2004
  Kitschy volcano in trailer home erupts.  
Another Hood Ornament:
Associated Press, Jul 7, 2003
  Yet again, driver speeds home with victim in windshield — but not entire victim.  
I'll Meet You Halfway There:
The Birmingham News (Alabama), Nov 19, 2002
  Two sisters, visiting each other, meet on the road — head-on.  
Save the Last Dance:
Reuters, Aug 7, 2002
  90-year-old retiree discovers 500 lb. dancing bear has two left feet.  
Right Place, Right Time:
Reuters, Sep 4, 2002
  When you gotta go, there's only one right place to be.  
Asleep Beneath the Wheel:
Houston Chronicle, Aug 9, 2002
  A homeless woman's poor choice of berth.  
Home Invasion:
Associated Press, Oct 4, 1994
  Escapee crashes card game at elderly woman's home.  
Plane Dumb Luck:
Arizona Daily Star, May 19, 2002
  Here's a new twist: plane crashes into its pilot.  
Lawn Blower:
Associated Press, Jul 27, 1999
  Just when you thought it was safe to mow the lawn ...  
Did Someone Say "Duck!"?:
Associated Press, Nov 20, 2001
  Jetskier runs afowl of low-altitude mallard.  
To Catch a Thief:
Philadelphia Daily News, Dec 18, 1999
  Would-be cat burglar is hoist on her own petard.  
Cold as Ice:
St. Paul Pioneer Press, Apr 1, 1994
  Boyfriend locks girlfriend out of house in sub-zero weather — in her nightgown.  
Underwired to Kill:
The London Times, Oct 28, 1999
  Ladies' lingerie proves fatally attractive. Again!  
Good News, Bad News:
Miami Herald, Jul 20, 1988
  An accused pedophile receives some good news a day late.  
There You Go:
United Press International, May 27, 1987
  Divine justice catches up with defense attorney.  
Watch Your Step:
New York Times, Sep 17, 1987
  Office worker is caught in the wheels of the daily grind.  
Asleep at the Wheel:
Associated Press, Jan 2, 1998
  Tipsy New Year's reveller found frozen after tipping vehicle — his wheelchair — in bitter cold.  
Trash Day:
Associated Press, Jan 27, 1989
  Senior citizen spends three days up to his armpits in trash.  
Shortcut to Short Circuit:
Philadelphia Inquirer, Nov 29, 1991
  Detour proves disastrous to man crossing train tracks.  
Nightmare at Floydville Road:
Hartford Courant, Nov 4, 1997
  Dying woman is mistaken for holiday lawn ornament.  
Attack of the Killer Turnip:
Associated Press, Oct 17, 1989
  One solid argument for eating more vegetables.  
Appointment in Kimball:
Associated Press, Aug 5, 1998
  You can run, but you sure can't hide ...  
A Good Man's Hard to Find:
Associated Press, June 10, 1993
  Groom gives shark indigestion.  
Another Lucky Winner:
Associated Press, Sep 25, 1990
  You win some...  
One For the Record Books:
Associated Press, Oct 29, 1991
  Dubious honor goes to bungee instructor.  
Out of the Frying Pan:
Associated Press, March 7, 1989
  Lifer electrocutes self on the potty.  
Need Some Anti-Perspirant?
Associated Press, July 4, 1990
  If you sweat, dont drill.  
Beware of Falling Rocks
Associated Press, Feb 16, 1996
  20-story boulder lands on Tokyo commuter tunnel.  
The Shut-In:
Associated Press, July 22, 1997
  Someone forgets to get Ma out of the car.